No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
