I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
As shirtless as possible
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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