So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
