you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize