I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
