just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
