He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
