Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
