based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
