There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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