After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize