Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
dude. I can hear the air.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You ever have a fart follow you around?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
