Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
love makes seman taste better
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
