farters have to be the big spoon...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
