I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
