Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
