in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
