I hate your face
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
