I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You need Xanax blowdarts
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
