why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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