Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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