I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
