Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
This is my gift to your gina
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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