You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
