We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Girls should come with a carfax report
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
