Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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