how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
