so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
