why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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