I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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