he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
