Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
so let's talk penis.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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