I cannot find my penis.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
