So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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