are you still at the devil's house?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
