? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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