question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
