Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
