I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
