Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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