dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
