i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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