So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
false alarm. still invincible.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
