you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
