The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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