I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
