he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
