I need help removing her.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
