I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
