yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
