Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
