i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
