Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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