he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize