dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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