there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize