i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
