Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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